“Yeah, my back gets sore also. It was really hurting when I woke up this morning because I worked in the yard all day yesterday.” This was the response I got when I revealed I had back problems. I smiled and said I was sorry to hear that and I hope it gets better.
I sincerely meant what I said but in the back of my mind I was thinking he just told someone with a bullet wound that he was bitten by a mosquito. The thing about it is: his back will get better, probably within a few hours–mine will not. I have a disease which progressively gets worse over time.
Sore is an Understatement
A few short months after that, I would be facing my second back surgery and this one was a doozy. I had to undergo a 360 degree fusion at L5/S1 which required a three day hospital stay and months of recovery.
What I didn’t tell him was my back was just one of the areas “sore” on me. Psoriatic Arthritis and my other autoimmune diseases have impacted my entire body from the bottom of my feet up to the top of my head.
Walking is such a painful undertaking some days, it really takes everything I have to do it. Somehow, I always get up and walk even though I know it’s going to feel like walking across legos barefooted.
Thanks for Trying
Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t offend me, he had no way of knowing what he was saying. And I have become an expert at hiding my disability. Most people do not know how much pain I am in. He didn’t realize his babbling brook was staring Niagara Falls in the face.
I actually applaud his effort of trying to reach me in the place of my pain and trying to relate to me so I would feel better. He was just trying to help and for that I am grateful.
A kind word or a pat on the shoulder goes a long way when someone is hurting. Most likely, you will not have an adequate example in your own life in order to relate so that is not necessary. Just being there is enough.
God Bless… Danny